lone_pedestrian

Every aspect of my day to day life is beginning to settle into a pattern. This is a positive development but it is a little unnerving. I feel as if I am settling into my past when I would rather be working towards my future.

The understanding that a large portion of young workers are in the same situation is cold comfort when faced with the reality of living with my parents.The passage of time has not led to a sense of true progress.

All I can do is work and wait for the turn of the year. January is when I can renew the push toward graduate school.

I do enjoy living in a City where people, as a rule, will leave you alone on public transportation. There are exceptions: sexual harassers, crazy people gone off their medications, panhandlers, proselytizers, drunks, the very old and obviously lonely.

Most people will not strike up conversations. The average rider will ask for directions, inquire about the time, commiserate (briefly and sometimes wordlessly) about late trains and inane announcements or simply demand that you get the fuck out of the way. I cannot express how much relief I feel at this emotional distance. My proximity to others on the train, the street or the subway should in no way suggest intimacy. It is necessary for me and everyone else to get to the same place at the same time. That does not make us friends any more than living on the same street or going to the same high school or working for the same company automatically makes you friends.

I talk all day at work and I talk on the phone with friends and family. The train ride is one time during my waking week when I can be completely quiet and left almost perfectly alone. It makes my commute more relaxing than it might seem at first glance.

Historic. Ship. Flotilla.

I know where I want to be around 11am on Sunday.

This time last year I expected to stay in this room, in this house, in this town and in this state for only a few months. This year I expect to be here for some time.

This time last year I was in love but it did not matter. This year I am not in love but it is alright by me.

This time last year I thought I knew what would happen even if I wasn't sure about when or how to make it possible. This year is new in so many ways.

This time last year the bottom hadn't fallen out of the economy yet. This year I am underpaid, my brother does not have a job at all and I am relieved because our lives would be much worse if we were from a different family.

This time last year I expected to discover a brand new city. This year I am retracing old paths on very familiar ground.


This time last year I tried being a better partner and lover. This year I try being a better friend, sister and daughter with similar levels of success at times.

This time last year I had a plan and it was comforting. This year I do not know what will happen and it is exciting.

This time last year I wondered if I could even get accepted into graduate school. This year I just wonder how I will manage to pay for it next year.

This time last year I was younger but I felt old and worried. This year I am older but less burdened even though there is much to worry about.

This time last year a friend's cat was dying. This year a friend's mother is dying.

This time last year I was unpacking. This year I am very slowly divesting myself of everything I do not need.

This time last year I hoped things would get better. This year I know that they will because they already have.

I have found the perfect train to the City and the best subway to take to the Battery.I am slowly getting into a routine. I am doing my best to make sure it sticks.

Very soon I will be commuting from Lynbrook to Ellis Island everyday. This has its good points and bad points. I will have to wake up earlier but I will be sleeping more comfortably.

I will be sharing a house with my parents and I will be forced to curtail some of my socializing as a result. This will help me save money for graduate school next year. It may also make me occasionally bitter.

I will have to walk or ride to the train everyday which will be good for my health but I will no longer have access to the Wii Fit which will not be good for my happiness.

My life will become more preditable but I think that is precisely what I need at the moment. All in all I think it will work out for the best.

Once again I am waiting among the tourists, longing impatiently for the boat to pull out of the slip. By this time in the day the sheer number of people with their questions and demands begins to wear on me. I am generally in a good humor while I am working but once the day is done all I want is to get away from all this humanity.

I will be much more content when I have a quiet space of my own to call home. Being out among people is more enjoyable for me when I know that somewhere there is a place for me to hide from them all.

I have been absurdly busy in the last month going back and forth to Brooklyn, Long Island and Ellis Island. Today though I want to talk about underwear. Seriously.

This is an issue because I need new knickers. (Depending on length, style and fabric they are also known as pantalettes, scanties, tap pants and petitpants: loose, light shorts that one wears under skirts and dresses. Most frequently, and entirely erroneously, people now call them bloomers.)

When one goes searching for such an item the manufactured offerings are seriously limited. They are usually either entirely utilitarian (think bike shorts and the dreaded long-line panty girdle recently rebranded as "shapewear") or completely frivolous (think pirate halloween costume gear, cheap uncomfortable fabric and gaudy style). Neither of these options really appeals to me.

I want to wear things that are practical, comfortable and cute. Honestly the reason I own these things is so that I can maintain some lady-like modesty while doing unlady-like things such as dashing up subway steps, riding bicycles or bending over to tie my shoes. At no point during the day do I want to wonder if someone can see all my business. I have more important things to think about.

The tendency in our culture is to think of women's historic clothing styles as restrictive. Corsets, multiple layers of underlayers and overly full skirts undeniably inhibit movement. The girdle and control-top pantyhose are also quite uncomfortable. However it does not logically follow that our current fashion regime is genuinely liberating. It has been noted previously that women do not wear corsets everyday instead they are pressured to constantly think about their bodies and their food intake. All day, everyday. When I listen to conversations on exactly those topics I feel like shaking the participants and screaming like Charlton Heston in a B grade science fiction movie. The sheer amount of personal maintainence that does into wearing short skirts and sleevless tops must absorb several hours a week, and a decent amount of money, for most women. I have found that wearing little shorts under my skirts enhances my comfort and calm.

I think there is an underwear scheme that satisfies my peculiar needs and it lies somewhere between 1900 and 1940. With the help of Etsy and Sockdreams I think I will be able to bring the knicker into the 21st century while staying cool, comfortable and cute for the remainder of the summer. Wish me luck.

View from the Observation Level of the Statue of Liberty

View from the Crown of the Statue of Liberty

I am too tired from my long commute to my new job to comment on my long commute to my new job. To sum up it is so tiring that it makes me wish I lived in Staten Island of all places.

David Byrne on Monday


PJ Harvey & John Parish on Tuesday


Josh Ritter on Friday (Maybe)

Jones Beach Water Tower Restoration

Central Park blurb at Curbed



I have some thoughts on porches I need to sort out.

"In its place will rise a new Old City, a mix of midrise apartments, plazas, alleys widened into avenues and reproductions of ancient Islamic architecture “to preserve the Uighur culture,” Kashgar’s vice mayor, Xu Jianrong, said in a phone interview."

A culture is not a style of building, a culture is much more interesting than that. It is a way of inhabiting what you have built. It is a way of thinking about yourself in relationship to those around you. You cannot preserve a culture without its people. Then again dispersal and disintegration seem like the point in this case.

The gray, rainy weather that stretched the month of April well into May is gone now. People complained the entire time but I liked it. Everything was so green and it looked especially beautiful against the dull cloudy skies. The sun is out now and the plants are running riot.

My favorite spot right at the moment is the untended strip of lawn on Buckingham. The imported turf is yellowed and dull but its more suitable local cousin is as tall as your knee with small wild white flowers blooming at the corner. It is far more lively than the manicured rectangles of green that surround it in every direction. It is a wonderful little mess.

I am going to try to head over to Hempstead Lake State Park this week. I am sure it will be much prettier now than it usually is. The month of May covers many of Long Island's sins and while the kids are still in school I can pretend I am the only one here to see it.

A humpback whale wandered into the Lower Bay of New York Harbor.





From Bowsprite's New York Harbor Sketchbook

This article in City Room reminded me about the much needed extension the the No. 7 line.

It also reminded me how much I love City Room. Just two examples:

David Dunlap on construction at WTC.

Jennifer 8. Lee on Street Vending

When I say to people that there are a lot of good places to live I suppose I am mistaken because according to this list all the good places to live are in the same 4 or 5 cities.

via Atrios