Killing That Elusive Somebody, Later.
It is a sight you have no doubt witnessed yourself if you ride the bus with any frequency. It is a half empty bottle of water rolling backwards and forwards on the floor in time to the stops and starts of your trip. You stare at it and you see people walk by it, never bothering to pick it up, as they exit. You have thought to yourself "Somebody ought to pick that up". I hate Somebody. I want to kill Somebody dead. There is no Somebody.

I am not so reliant on Somebody because I pick up the bottle as I leave and throw it in the municipal trashcan. The elusive Somebody does not trouble me because I know that Somebody has a real name and a face. It is frequently my name and face. I am the person who picks up other people's trash, rails against loud drunken neighbors in the middle of the night and asks strangers if they are lost when they look confused. If some small service needs doing I will step to it without thinking too much about it at that moment.

Personally and privately I am paralyzed by the unreachable Later.

Later I will be more organized. Later will be a better time to get these things done. Later will always make more sense than Now. Now is a mess. I hate Later. I need to kill Later dead. There is no Later. I do not understand why it is so easy for me to immediately address other people's problems in public or at work but so difficult for me to do the same for myself.

I suppose I just have to keep reminding myself that there is no Later.